Dates: Wednesday 4/28, 5/5, 5/12, 5/19, 5/26, 6/2, 6/9, 6/16, 6/23, 6/30 (10 weeks)

Times: 12pm to 1:30pm Pacific Time

Optional: 1:30pm to 2pm Pacific - additional discussion and questions

Location: Zoom link provided with registration.

Zoom main room video recorded and available to registered participants through members-only webpage (breakout rooms are not recorded).

Testimonials:

• "I'm so grateful to have found a way to practice NVC online. After reading about NVC, I had no idea how to put it into practice. This 10-week Connection Skills course has provided a safe space to explore. James is an excellent guide on the path!" Leticia Adams, Creative Director
• "I was wanting to get a clearer understanding of NVC. This workshop was thorough and although slightly intimidating, it gradually got more and more beneficial and fun to attend. Thank you for bringing me together with like minded people and teaching me how to better connect with those in my every day life!! Yay!"
• "I find the weekly series to be very supportive for my personal growth in communicating needs and feelings. Getting in touch with my needs and feelings is something that I’ve lost as a child. I am also grateful for having a consistent group of folks learning and growing together as we are experiencing life and practicing the tools from NVC." —Jen Cheng, Senior Software Engineer
• "James Prieto's NVC class was amazing! I will use his communication techniques the rest of my life. I'm deeply grateful." Tom - Principal at Tom Knott & Associates

My Story:

I grew up in a highly competitive and violent environment. As I got older, I used my skills, smarts and education to argue and fight for what I wanted. To make things worse, I got triggered often, taking me into reactions that I later regretted. I reached a point in my life and career where my relationships stopped working.

My Learning/Facilitation Style:

My offerings and personal NVC practice are inspired by many NVC trainers over 19 years; though primarily Marshall Rosenberg, Jim & Jori Manske, Mary Mackenzie and Robert Gonzales.

My active area of research relates to NVC and nature-based depth psychology as described by Bill Plotkin’s book titled “Wild Mind.” I created the “Heart-Canvas” as a tool for self-empathy. I also published a book on NVC Spirituality in 2010 titled “The Joy of Compassionate Connecting.”

What I’ve noticed about my learning style is that it follows more of a spiral than a linear process. That means that I find value in trying and experiencing a variety of things, integrating them into my daily practice over time. This includes training with a variety of NVC trainers and other modalities, as everyone seems to provide a unique perspective of our collective "language of life.”

Recognizing that this spiral is common to the learning styles of many others, I find it helpful to define a high-level outline for my classes, let participants try (and sometimes stumble through) a high-level process, and then spend time going deeper into the experience of each step.

For instance, I learned about “Zero Step” and “Layers of Empathy” 10 years ago from Jim & Jori Manske. As I look back at what they were teaching at the time, I now have a deeper appreciation and respect for the gift of those teachings. I’ve internalized much of what I’ve learned through years of practice.

Participants seem to enjoy the balance between structure and experiential learning. For a sample of my processes, check out the blog section of this website.

Challenges:

Unfortunately, most of us have been educated from birth to compete, judge, demand, diagnose, to do things out of guilt/shame, and to think and communicate in terms of what is “right“ or “wrong“ with people. Our "implicit bias" fosters the creation of "enemy images" of those who look and behave differently than us. When un-examined, "implicit bias" results in racism.

We also blame others for our feelings, as if they caused them. Even worse, we might blame ourselves for other people's unpleasant feelings. The habitual ways we think and speak hinder communication, and perpetuate a culture of comparison, guilt/shame and punishment. Without wanting to, even people with the best of intentions generate needless conflict because of the lack of clear boundaries of personal responsibility.

At work especially we are encouraged to wear a mask to pretend everything is okay even when it’s not. Conflict arises when different positions are expressed, people’s emotions get triggered and usually blame others for them. The loudest voices and bigger titles usually win. It isn’t safe to be real; instead we are encouraged to be “nice.”

A New Paradigm:

With Nonviolent Communication (NVC) we learn to hear our own deeper needs and those of others. Through its emphasis on deep listening—to ourselves as well as others—NVC helps us discover the depth of our own compassion. This language reveals the awareness that all human beings are only trying to honor universal values and needs, every minute, every day.

NVC can be seen as both a spiritual practice that helps us see our common humanity, using our power in a way that honors everyone's needs, and a concrete set of skills which help us create life-serving families and communities.

The form is simple, yet powerfully transformative.

Through the practice of NVC, we can learn to clarify what we are observing, what emotions we are feeling, what values we want to live by, and what we want to ask of ourselves and others. We will no longer need to use the language of blame, judgment or domination. We can experience the deep pleasure of contributing to each others' well being.

NVC creates a path for healing and reconciliation in its many applications, ranging from intimate relationships, work settings, health care, social services, police, prison staff and inmates, to governments, schools and social change organizations.

"All that has been integrated into NVC has been known for centuries about consciousness, language, communication skills, and use of power that enable us to maintain a perspective of empathy for ourselves and others, even under trying conditions."
-- Marshall B. Rosenberg, PhD

Nonviolent Communication contains nothing new. It is based on historical principles of nonviolence-- the natural state of compassion when no violence is present in the heart. NVC reminds us what we already instinctively know about how good it feels to authentically connect to another human being. For more information, go to CNVC.org

Benefits of 10-week Series:

• you will have more mastery and tools at your disposal for navigating conversations
• interpersonal conversations will be easier and more satisfying
• the people you interact with will enjoy being heard and understood
• expressing yourself authentically will become more comfortable 
• you will meet new people, and get to know them more deeply
• you will experience a natural curiosity toward others
• you will develop compassion toward others as you acknowledge everyone's needs
• experience more trust and the joy of connection

About the 10-week Series:

We meet as a group once a week for 1.5 hours. Sessions typically will start with a check-in -- breakout rooms used so that everyone gets a chance to share on how they're doing. After re-connecting in the larger group, we'll dive into various NVC practices -- there's a combination of structured learning and improv learning through large room and small breakout room practices. Finally, we close out the group with a "check-out" of how we're feeling after spending time together. After closing the core session, a smaller group spends another 30 minutes of unstructured discussions and questions.

• The presentation slide PDF is sent to participants at the beginning of the session, and available for download
• Sessions are recorded and available to registered participants through the series webpage
• All registered participants will have the opportunity to practice independently with others through a rotating self-empathy buddy system (1 or 2 calls per week for 30 minutes)
• Optional homework is assigned each week

Learning Objectives - In this series, you will learn and practice how to:

• prepare for challenging conversations
• get clear on what you really want, how you feel about it and why (self-empathy)
• create and deliver the context for a conversation
• express yourself fully in a way that has a good change of connecting (honesty)
• listen to the heart of what others are expressing while checking in on your understanding (empathy)
• make clear, doable, present requests with an openness to outcome
• use requests to support a flow of connection
• Observations vs. Evaluations
• Needs vs. Strategies
• Developing Feelings/Needs literacy
• Empathic Listening
• Feelings vs. Thoughts vs. Evaluative Feelings
• Self-Empathy
• Responses to difficult to hear messages
• Compassionate Honesty
• Requests vs. Demands
• Clear, doable Requests, vs. doing a don’t
• Flow of Connection
• Expressing Appreciation

Requesting $299 for 10 sessions (effectively $29 per session) -- special pricing available for "Low Income/Students". First session is Free. You may also send money through PayPal to james.prieto@gmail.com (as friend to avoid fee), PayPal with a fee, or Venmo @Jaime-Prieto-8.

About the facilitator: James Prieto helps professionals communicate to connect through workshops, coaching and business consulting. He started his career in electrical and computer engineering, satellite communications, and Agile development. After several decades in the technology industry, he experienced the need for compassionate leadership and a collaborative organizational culture.

After discovering NVC in 2002, he began his interpersonal growth journey, and began facilitating NVC workshops and groups in 2005. After attending his first intensive training with Marshall Rosenberg in 2007, he was inspired to pursue his NVC trainer certification from the Center for Nonviolent Communication, which he completed in 2014. His NVC practice is also inspired by several trainers including Mary Mackenzie, Jim & Jori Manske, Robert Gonzales, Kelly Bryson and others.

He believes in the power of Nonviolent Communication (NVC) to transform individuals, relationships and organizations toward sustainable performance, well-being, and life fulfillment. James is a certified NVC trainer with the Center for Nonviolent Communication (CNVC), an Agile coach, and offers multi-day online and in-person workshops for connection skills development, and personal growth. He enjoys facilitating dynamic interactive workshops with experiential learning, blending structure along with organic back and forth -- covering the material using improv. He also consults for organizations interested in NVC, Agile development and compassionate leadership.

Click here for extended bio.