Wednesday Dates: 1/25, 2/1, 2/8, 2/15, 2/22, 3/1, 3/8, 3/22, 3/29, 5/5 (10 weeks)
Times: 11am-12:30pm PST, (2pm - 3:30pm EST)
Optional: Providing 30 minutes for additional discussion and questions
Location: Zoom link provided with registration.
Materials: All registrants in the United States receive a Heart-Canvas (an interactive emotional compass) in the mail. The presentation slides are provided during the meeting. Zoom sessions are recorded and provided in member-only series webpage along with the slides PDF for download.
"This 10-week series is well worth the money and effort. It is an excellent complement to the foundation work of NVC. I received a lot of new insights and awareness, I have been applying in my life, helping me to be less reactive and more connected to others that work. I highly recommend committing to this NVC series for the new growth & peace of mind it offers us." Jim OBrien, Registered Nurse and yoga teacher
"I had an enjoyable journey experiencing a variety of tools that better connect me to myself with more self-compassion. When I practice these tools, I often understand myself better and feel calmer. Some of the tools, such "Healing Honesty Role Play," lightened the emotions I carried from past events. By following James' well-defined steps, I plumbed below the surface truths that I already knew about myself to a more profound depth. I especially enjoyed the game of repetitively answering the question, "Please tell me. What does your heart really want?" It's quieting to reside for a while within one's heart. And the answers guide my day." Joseph Houska, Senior Counsel at Valle Makoff LLP
"James is a skillful online facilitator who was able to translate complex ideas into digestible lessons for weekly practice. Thank you, James, for sharing your generosity and wisdom ~ Catherine Etmanski (Victoria, Canada)
"This course helped me find freedom. I don't feel tortured by other peoples' words and actions. Now it's apparent to me that they were trying to get their needs met, even if they didn't use an effective strategy. Any event in my life that causes bad feelings can be used as a tool to go deeper within to learn my feelings, my needs and my desires. From there I can nurture myself and ultimately see the humanity in others." Megan Heikes, Childcare and Elementary teacher, Cook County Schools
I've done quite a bit of NVC reading and online video watching, however it's the in-person (even virtual) practice of the communication methods and techniques with others who aren't in my normal, daily life, that really grounds the practice and opened my eyes to gaps and opportunities to grow. Taking the class has been a huge step in my journey toward a more mindful, less reactive interaction with the world." Mike, recovering enginerd
Note: Zoom sessions main room recorded and available for registered participants through members-only webpage.
Not long ago, I used to get triggered often -- i.e. means that something set me off to react automatically. One day at lunch with colleagues, someone said something I didn't like and I responded in ways that I now regret. At another time in a work meeting, I reacted to hearing opinions that differed from mine. I'm embarrassed to think back to how that may have landed for them. I'm now surprised at how quickly I reacted without thought to the consequences.
After years of personal growth work, coaching and training in Nonviolent Communication, I've synthesized practices that help me stay grounded, present and clear headed. While I still occasionally get triggered, I've noticed the frequency of occurrence is hugely reduced, and my recovery time is much shorter -- within seconds, for most things, and within a day for the big ones. In short, I have tools to stay calm most of the time and to choose how to respond in difficult situations instead of reacting.
My Learning/Facilitation Style:
My offerings and personal NVC practice are inspired by many NVC trainers over 19 years; though primarily Marshall Rosenberg, Jim & Jori Manske, Mary Mackenzie and Robert Gonzales.
My active area of research relates to NVC and nature-based depth psychology as described by Bill Plotkin’s book titled “Wild Mind.” I created the “Heart-Canvas” as a tool for self-empathy. I also published a book on NVC Spirituality in 2010 titled “The Joy of Compassionate Connecting.”
What I’ve noticed about my learning style is that it follows more of a spiral than a linear process. That means that I find value in trying and experiencing a variety of things, integrating them into my daily practice over time. This includes training with a variety of NVC trainers and other modalities, as everyone seems to provide a unique perspective of our collective "language of life.”
Recognizing that this spiral is common to the learning styles of many others, I find it helpful to define a high-level outline for my classes, let participants try (and sometimes stumble through) a high-level process, and then spend time going deeper into the experience of each step.
For instance, I learned about “Zero Step” and “Layers of Empathy” 10 years ago from Jim & Jori Manske. As I look back at what they were teaching at the time, I now have a deeper appreciation and respect for the gift of those teachings. I’ve internalized much of what I’ve learned through years of practice.
Participants seem to enjoy the balance between structure and experiential learning. For a sample of my processes, check out the blog section of this website.
Another example, I experienced first-hand with Marshall Rosenberg the power of presence in empathic role-plays. I shared with him some deep old pain associated with the transition of my primary relationship and becoming a Dad. The experience was so cathartic that I felt a rush of energy released from my body. I’m still integrating that experience, waking up to how my own childhood affected my ability to show up as a partner and father.
The “8-steps to Stop Trigger Bullets” could be seen as that high-level outline for this course. There is so much more to learn, practice and grow behind each one of those steps. The more you practice, the easier and faster it becomes. Like Neo in The Matrix, at some point, it clicks and you’re able to see and stop the trigger bullets for what they are...
Unfortunately, most of us have been educated from birth to compete, judge, demand, diagnose, to do things out of guilt/shame, and to think and communicate in terms of what is “right“ or “wrong“ with people. Our "implicit bias" fosters the creation of "enemy images" of those who look and behave differently than us. When un-examined, "implicit bias" results in racism.
We also blame others for our feelings, as if they caused them. Even worse, we might blame ourselves for other people's unpleasant feelings. The habitual ways we think and speak hinder communication, and perpetuate a culture of comparison, guilt/shame and punishment. Without wanting to, even people with the best of intentions generate needless conflict because of the lack of clear boundaries of personal responsibility.
In our culture, we are taught to stuff emotions, to “suck it up” and “be tough” -- we value the intellectual mind while minimizing the sensory information from our bodies. We are often driven to be “selfless” in our giving, to give even when we don’t have resources available, and that our "needs don’t matter;" as a result, we create long lists of expectations of others that bring stress in relationships, all the time we experience disappointment, resentment, and anger without spaces to be heard and understood -- eventually leading to some form of violence to ourselves or others. Over time, this pattern repeats itself until something breaks.
Our own “inner critic” has a tremendous impact on our mood, and we aren’t taught tools for dealing with them. At work especially we are encouraged to wear a mask to pretend everything is okay even when it’s not. Conflict arises when different positions are expressed, people’s emotions get triggered and usually blame others for them. The loudest voices and bigger titles usually win. It isn’t safe to be real; instead we are encouraged to be “nice.”
A New Paradigm:
The inner practice of Nonviolent Communication (NVC) invites us to take personal responsibility for our thoughts, judgments, feelings, needs and to make clear and doable requests. We learn processes for translating our judgments into the heart of our experience. By getting clear on our feelings and needs, we find inner peace, clarity and sense of empowerment.
Communities and organizations that practice NVC have enough emotional safety that difficult conversations happen more frequently with better outcomes.
Universal human needs/values, which are the heart of NVC, include personal needs (e.g. autonomy, mastery, honesty, adventure) as well as interpersonal needs (e.g. caring, consideration, collaboration, community, equity, reciprocity, and forgiveness). Needs are often confused with strategies (what we leverage to meet our needs), resulting in conflict.
This simple -- yet powerful shift in our perspective and habits creates groundedness, self-empowerment and choicefullness -- replacing our tendencies to react impulsively. From a place of self-connection, we are at peace and better able to make choices that contribute to fully living.
NVC is a non-judgmental paradigm of relating that includes introspection, deep listening with empathy, and honest expression. NVC was started by Marshall Rosenberg, PhD in the 1960s. Today, NVC is taught around the world, and has been applied in a wide variety of contexts, including business and nonprofit settings. Formal studies have begun to document the benefits of NVC, which include organizational effectiveness, increased efficiency, and support for individual well-being. For more information, go to CNVC.org
Benefits of 10-week Series:
About the 10-week Series:
We will meet as a group once a week for 1.5 - 2 hours. Sessions typically will start with self-connection practices, followed by Zoom breakout rooms of 2-3 people for everyone to check-in. After re-connecting in the larger group, we'll dive into various self-connection practices based on NVC -- there's a combination of structured learning and improv learning through large room and small breakout room practices. Finally, we close out the group with a "check-out" of how we're feeling after spending time together. After closing the core session, a smaller group spends another 30 minutes of unstructured discussions and questions.
Learning Objectives of 10-week Series:
Zoom link provided with registration. Zoom sessions recorded and available for registered participants through members-only webpage.
Note: Nonviolent Communication (NVC) is not therapy -- not a clinical service. Nonviolent Communication is a "language of life" -- reference the book with that title by Marshall Rosenberg, PhD. The purpose of this training is to provide information and practices for NVC self-connection. While you're invited to bring real life triggers, we will only work with feelings of intensity 5 or less out of 10 (being the most intense) -- i.e. not working with trauma. Participants are responsible for their own personal safety.
Requesting $399 for 10 sessions (effectively $39 per session) -- special pricing available for "Low Income/Students". First session is Free - Register Here for Zoom information. You may also send money through PayPal to email@example.com (as friend to avoid fee) or Venmo @Jaime-Prieto-8.
About the facilitator:
James Prieto helps professionals communicate to connect through workshops, coaching and business consulting. He started his career in electrical and computer engineering, satellite communications, and Agile development. After several decades in the technology industry, he experienced the need for compassionate leadership and a collaborative organizational culture.
After discovering NVC in 2002, he began his interpersonal growth journey, and began facilitating NVC workshops and groups in 2005. After attending his first intensive training with Marshall Rosenberg in 2007, he was inspired to pursue his NVC trainer certification from the Center for Nonviolent Communication, which he completed in 2014. His NVC practice is also inspired by several trainers including Mary Mackenzie, Jim & Jori Manske, Robert Gonzales, Kelly Bryson and others.
He believes in the power of Nonviolent Communication (NVC) to transform individuals, relationships and organizations toward sustainable performance, well-being, and life fulfillment. James is a certified NVC trainer with the Center for Nonviolent Communication (CNVC), an Agile coach, and offers multi-day online and in-person workshops for connection skills development, and personal growth. He enjoys facilitating dynamic interactive workshops with experiential learning, blending structure along with organic back and forth -- covering the material using improv. He also consults for organizations interested in NVC, Agile development and compassionate leadership.
Click here for extended bio.
Helping professionals communicate to connect
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a few words from satisfied clients
Founder, Caldwell Allen Consulting
"This class with James gave me practical skills to deal with challenging conversations in my personal and professional life. My favorite takeaway was self-empathy. Learning that I could apply NVC for myself was eye opening! I highly recommend courses with James!"
Founder & CEO of Seeker Health, Author of New Startup Mindset
"I highly recommend James for organizational culture communication training and coaching. He's an outstanding facilitator and coach. I’ve experienced his facilitation skills in corporate and in community. He led an empathy workshop for our employees, and his work was extremely well received and effective in building trust and compassion among our team. He tunes in to the needs of his audience and delivers both content and an experience that are centering, inspiring and effective."
Founder and CEO at Stealth Startup
"I've attend his workshops as well as 1:1 training on using NVC. He's incredible, his listening skills as well as ability to exude empathy is very infectious. He is an excellent teacher, very passionate about bringing NVC. His ability to manage a crowd is truly admirable - driving home points on empathy in time-bound workshop -presenting conflicting situations among a very interactive and diverse crowd, while still driving his agenda within strict time limits. I highly recommend working with James."
Senior Engineer at ZOLL Circulation
"James led the workshop effectively; several men described it as 'life changing', and as having a profound impact on how they view their personal relationships. James effectively managed our group of 50 men, including a number of strong and vocal personalities firmly but with great compassion. I highly recommend James Prieto."
Senior Counsel at Valle Makoff LLP
"Have you ever understood something intellectually, but then had someone cause you to experience that understanding, so that inexplicably your understanding is not just in your brain, but in your bones? Mr. Prieto helps me in that way..."
Senior Project Manager at W-Trans
"He was a very effective leader, organized, provided very useful handouts; he led the seminar with a nice blend of instruction, demonstration, and practice sessions, with an emphasis on the practice sessions. I recommend him to others who want to enhance their team's collaboration skills."
Sr Staff Software Engineer at Accuray
"His teaching style is masterful, he's extremely effective in any size group from 1:1 to over 50. He facilitates learning by creating rapport and an open and accepting atmosphere. His explanations are clear, concise, insightful, wise and so easy to absorb."
Table of Contents 1. Services Provided 2. Prices And Payment 3. Shipping And Delivery 4. Guarantees And Warranties 5. Returns, Refunds And Complaints 6. Limitation Of Liability 7. Intellectual Property Rights 8. Future Changes 9. Governing Law 1. Services Provided Consulting, Coaching, Training, Facilitation services are provided. Nonviolent Communication (NVC) is not therapy -- not a clinical service. Nonviolent Communication is a "language of life" -- reference the book with that title by Marshall Rosenberg, PhD. The purpose of coaching and training is to provide information about NVC related practices. While you may be invited to bring real life situations for practice, we will only work with feelings of intensity 5 or less out of 10 (being the most intense) -- i.e. not working with trauma. Consulting clients, coaching clients and workshop participants are responsible for their own personal emotional safety. 2. Prices And Payment Prices for workshops or events are listed in the website; promotional coupon codes may provide discounts to stated prices. Coupon use is required at the time of registration and may not be applied retroactively. Hourly service prices are negotiated and agreed by all parties and confirmed via email. Payment is expected before the scheduled session begins. Services scheduled may be rescheduled without penalty if done with a 24 hour notice; "no shows" forfeit payment. Hourly 1:1 sessions are not refundable. 3. Shipping And Delivery Not applicable at this time. 4. Guarantees And Warranties No guarantees or warranties are provided. 5. Refunds And Complaints Requests for refunds are handled on a case-by-case basis, in a good-faith effort to acknowledge everyone's needs. The refund period for multi-week services extends to the first two sessions; no refunds are given the day after the second session. Refunds for services purchased online incur a 6% service charge to cover transaction and administration fees. Some trainings require changes to be notified some time before the event and are listed in the event description. Complaints should be directed through the Contact form on the home page; the consultant providing the service will communicate in integrity with the values of nonviolent communication (NVC). If an impasse is reached, and the stakes warrant, another NVC mediator will be used to facilitate a dialogue in addressing the complaint. Hourly 1:1 sessions are not refundable. 6. Limitation Of Liability Liability is limited to the cost of the services provided. Not liable for any indirect damages that may occur. 7. Intellectual Property Rights All materials provided in trainings, workshops or coaching sessions are for personal use only, and are copyrighted by Jaime "James" Prieto at Compassionate Connecting, with all rights reserved. 8. Future Changes From time to time we may change the Terms & Conditions either because of changes in our business, or due to changes in governing law. If you opt-in to the mailing list, any changes will be included at the bottom of the next newsletter. 9. Governing Law These Terms & Conditions follow applicable laws of the City of San Jose, the County of Santa Clara, the State of California, and the United States of America.