I'm sitting in my living room, in the glow of a party that I co-hosted with Craig last night. We had the intention to create the space for community to happen and it did. We started by sharing a meal, where everyone brought something to share. I enjoyed the physical manifestation of abundance, and snapped a few photos - I was overwhelmed with the food options available; a foreshadowing of things to come.
After dinner, we gathered in a circle in my living room. It was a little too warm for a fire in the fireplace, but it represented the warmth that we were hoping to achieve. As Craig described it, "we are creating the space in the fire pit, it is up to all of us to put in a log". The room was lit by a dozen or so small white tea-light candles. People were sitting in chairs, love seats, pillows and floor chairs. The city outside my window also provided some twinkling from the houses below the hill on which I live.
We used the Native American Indian strategy of a "talking stick" to remind everyone that only one's persons needs are on the table at one time. To further symbolize this, we placed a set of cards with different needs inscribed on them on a coffee table in the middle of our circle. Craig kept track of time, reminding the speaker with the sound of a bell when 3 minutes were up, and another minute or so to wrap up. After a person was done speaking, they asked who would like to share next, and chose to whom to give the talking stick.
The invitation was for people to talk about what was happening for them in their life right now (i.e. what's alive in them), and perhaps to share something creative and original. Craig and I were concerned at the "large number" of 20 or so people in the circle as we wanted to hear from everybody, but not sure if the group would be able to hold the space that long. We were pleasantly surprised at how the space was held for as long as it did, around an hour and three-quarters.
After our connecting circle time, we snapped a couple of group photos and then danced!
So, I am feeling warmly joyful as my needs for contribution were met, for the connection, community and belonging I experienced, for the opportunity of being heard and known, for the fun of all the humor, the play of dancing, and for the spontaneous back-rubs I received and gave back. I am deeply grateful for our collective shared desire of coming together to celebrate and mourn life as it presents itself, also meeting my needs for authenticity. All of these things contribute to meeting my needs for love, and sharing love with others brings meaning to my life. And that is worth celebrating!!!
I spent the holidays in Kansas City with my family, and especially with my father who is ill because his lungs are not functioning properly. It snowed a couple of inches a few days back and I had the opportunity to shovel snow from my father's driveway. I had planned on doing it after breakfast on my own, but was surprised to hear the conversation in my head after my father asked me to do it. I'm not sure if it was the way in which he asked in this instance, or the ways in which he asked in the past, but my first internal reaction was of resistance. I was annoyed and wanting the autonomy to make my own choices, and disappointment because I was hoping to surprise him. After I slowed down and acknowledged my internal dialog, I was able to return to the state of wanting to do it --> to contribute to the household and well-being of my family.
