My Inspiration and Fear

I am often inspired by things that I read. For example, I am reading Marshall's book in Spanish, and was reminded of one of Rumi's sayings:

* "Más allá de las ideas de actuar bien y actuar mal, se extiende un campo. Allí nos encontraremos".

("Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I'll meet you there.")

I would enjoy hearing of other people's inspirational sayings and quotes from whatever traditions, philosophies and cultures they arise. Would you be willing to share them here with a "comment"?

I am often inspired by things I read in texts that I grew up with; even though the words had not come alive for me until more recently.

I am feeling sad and perhaps a little frustrated that there is so much judgment in so many areas of my culture, in my own mind (i.e. 'Jackals'), within various communities I belong to, as I am wanting more acceptance of differing opinions and a more authentic dialog of the issues in a heart connecting way. Actually, what I would like is more of a focus on similarities -- to build bridges -- than in differences -- which tend to build walls and isolate. Yes, there are differences between people and groups, and some of them are important. But wouldn't it be more fun if we were able to connect on our similarities first?

I guess that part of my frustration is with wanting to integrate a couple of areas of my life and the communities of people in them, and being afraid of judgment in both of them. I desire authenticity and wholeness in my life, but I am feeling some fear and anxiety at living them and expressing myself fully. I suppose that is part of the purpose of this blog; to help me in the process of integration.

Lately, I've been finding inspiration in chapters 5, 6, and 7 of the 'good news' according to the book of Matthew, and seeing ways in which I can practice these principles in my life through Nonviolent Communication (NVC). Here are a few of which I would like to share here:

* Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted
* Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy
* Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God
* Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God
* If you remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift at the altar and be reconciled with your brother. Settle matters quickly with your adversary.
* Simply let your 'Yes' be 'Yes', and your 'No', 'No'
* Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you
* Do not judge
* Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?
* First take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye
* Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you
* For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened
* Do to others what you would have them do to you
* Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock.

So, I am finding NVC to be a discipline that helps me to live consistently with my beliefs, in a way that is respectful of others and gives me a way to practice being more loving and authentic.

Has any of this stirred anything in you?

Green Rolling Hills

Last night, I got together with a few friends, as we often do, with the intention of connecting and building community. My friend Garret brought in some music to help us go deeper, and to be known. He gave us a pens and paper and asked us to express what is coming up for us as the music played. Afterwards, we were to consider sharing whatever came up with the group.

As soon as the music started, I became aware of how it helped me to get in touch with my heart. I felt free and safe enough to go deep. Immediately, I began to see green rolling hills in which we could all play. I drew the image of hills intersecting each other (similar to the picture at left and below), and then the words began to flow. Everyone else finished within 5 minutes of the second song, and yet I had much more to express. So, I shared what I could with the group, and went home that evening for a deep sleep. I woke up this morning excited, as I still had the rest of that heart stuff ready to come out. I made a fresh cup of coffee, and I sat down to write. And five pages later, I came to a place where it felt complete. And I have chosen to share it here in the comment below. I would love hearing if anything in it moves you in any way, as it would meet my needs for support, community, contribution.

ps. I searched the web for pictures that captured what I was seeing, and came up with some photos from Quang-Tuan Luong at http://www.terragalleria.com. He gave me permission to share them with you.

Hiking Adventure in Mexico

I went to an orphanage in Mexico East of Ensenada this weekend. On the way there, I was totally mesmerized by the beauty of the coastline. My excitement must have shown because Carlos, our driver offered to stop the van so that I could snap a few pictures -- which you can see in the link to this post.


The highlight of this trip was taking the older boys on a hike along a creek to a natural swimming pool that formed because of the recent rains in the area. The weather was really phenomenal, lots of sun, a cool breeze, almost no clouds, and the air seemed more clear than usual.

Our plan was to get all the boys together after lunch and go. Only problem was that lunch ran a couple of hours late this month, so a few people were not able to go that wanted to. So, shortly after 3 PM, twelve of us set out to go on the hike; a few boys joined us later. It's really not like what you'd think of a hike in the US; there were few actual trails to walk on, no trail-head, no maps, and most of our initial hike was on the rocky banks of a creek.

Many of the boys quickly tired of the rocky embankment, and went in for the water. In fact, most of the playing around started almost immediately that we got near the water, as many couldn't stand being near it and not be in it. I realized at this point that the adventure and fun had started, and decided to get my camera out of my backpack even as I tried to keep up with the boys pace. I chose not to get wet, as I had some things that I wanted to keep dry, like my boots, socks, pants, shirt, backpack and my camera. Funny that I was thinking that I didn't have my "water gear". The boys didn't seem to care what they were wearing, and went for the water.

I was a little saddened by some of the trash that I saw along the way, as it seemed to be in stark contrast with the inherent beauty of the area, and the joy-filled playful spirits of the children on the hike.

Much of the play on the way was about splashing each other, and tackling some of their friends into the creek. They really seemed to be having fun -- even after some were "helped" under water, they'd all come out with huge smiles on their faces. The water was very cold, but luckily, the sun was out.

Every now and then, we'd get to a barbed wire fence in which the boys would make a comment about it being "propriedad privada" or private property, and we'd decide as a group to either go through it or go around the fence, if it was possible. In one case, we ran out of options and had to cross the knee deep creek to get to our "trail."

After crossing the creek because it was getting too steep on our side, we made it to an area which had some really large boulders, and the creek widened and deepened enough for for a natural pool to form. We had arrived to our first destination. A few of us, myself included, couldn't help our attraction to the boulders, so we climbed on top of them (as a rock climber, I estimated the penalty factor to be "moderate" -- i.e. we could do it with reasonable safety and max enjoyment -- a calculated risk that I take with my son Alex all the time). The rest went for the water in a big way. The original plan was to keep the boys dry -- right! That plan was out the first five minutes of the hike. But, I didn't expect them to go swimming, nor what came next.

One of the boulders was large enough to climb, and was close enough to the deep end of the pool. I must admit that my anxiety level rose high, but the orphanage leaders (paid staff) seemed comfortable and confident of the situation. They made sure that the boys that didn't know how to swim stayed in the shallow area, and that the pool was deep enough for jumping. So, after catching my breath and seeing the beauty of the moment, I started snapping some action shots.
And we took a few group photos before leaving the area. Sadly, our late start limited the amount of time we could spend out there, as the sun was going to start dropping soon. I made a point to rally the troops to get back to camp by 5 PM (I had a head lamp and spare flashlight in case they were needed). Of course, we weren't about to take the same way home. We had to visit the mines on the way back...

We had to go through several barbed wire fences. I was happy to know that the owner of the land had a son Juan that was a friend of a few of the boys. He showed up with his dog, posed for a picture, and told us that we could come back any time.

I noticed that several of the boys had picked up sticks along the way. Once we crossed into an open field with some mud and some dried out cow cakes, the boys used their sticks to fling dung back and forth at each other. It was fun to watch, but glad I wasn't the target.


We all made it back to the orphanage, healthy, recharged, and "stoked". I'm feeling gratefully joyous at having contributed to organizing this event. I am finding meaning through serving at the orphanage, and having fun at the same time. I am hoping to contribute NVC to them somehow in the future, but I guess, I already am.

I'd enjoy hearing if anything in here moved you in any way.

Found a "New" Trail

It's been raining for most of today in Southern California, but yesterday was close to beautiful for most of the afternoon as the sun peeked through the clouds every now and then. I am grateful to have discovered a "new" trail this weekend. Actually, the trail has been there all along. I have driven by the trail head at least 3 times per week for the past five years, and I never really noticed it before. I had seen the signs, the fence, the parking spots, and people walking out of it, but it didn't "click" for me until last week that there was another hiking opportunity within minutes of my home. I am surmising that I hadn't really noticed because I am usually in a hurry to get somewhere when I travel this particular route. Being in a hurry, it seems, bypasses the part of my brain that plans fun stuff. I am feeling a little anxious at not knowing what other things I have been missing.

I am finding this to be the case also in conversation. If I go too fast, I may miss important information from the other person, and miss opportunities to increase connection and understanding. And, perhaps more importantly, if I go too fast I may react without checking inside to do my own heart inventory (listening for my own feelings and needs), increasing the chances of a failed connection. My growth edge is to continue to slow down, check in with myself (clearing the dreaded 'plank' out of my own eye) before responding to other people.

I guess that finding new trails is another advantage to slowing down, and noticing what is happening around me -- and maybe even choosing to participate in it. So, after hiking 3-4 miles on unknown trails, I made it to the top of the hill that led back to the parking lot and ran into the flower below. It was brilliantly-orange and yellow, looking like a mini-sun growing out of the ground (the shot was taken close to an hour after picked). I walked past it at first, and began celebrating its beauty about 4 steps after I first saw it; I went back for a closer look. I would have just left it on the hill to go on shinning, but I had left my camera at home. I hope you enjoy it too.

Would you be willing to comment on what you are feeling after reading this?

Celebrating Play

I have been appreciating the beauty of "play", and how my son Alex so clearly lives it. When he plays, he seems to be getting lots of other needs met at the same time. Of course, it's fun for me to join in too, but sometimes I just sit back and watch; other times I take pictures. So, I decided to share a small sample of my life of play with him in the slide-show to the right. I would enjoy hearing what play means to other people. Do these images stir up anything in you?

The Wave Metaphor

I like to use waves as a symbol for needs, and the "gift energy of love" behind them from our creator. They are also a gift because they are the part of us that gives us the experience of being alive. The challenge then becomes how to catch the wave so that we can all surf -- to connect. This metaphor is powerful because surfing requires presence and balancing on the board. If I am feeling sad while focused on the past, or located too far back on the board, I will not catch the wave. If I am feeling anxious about the future, and too far forward on the board, I'll pearl -- which means to have the nose sink in the water and "wipe out" (falling off the board) -- possibly leading to feelings of shame and embarrassment as your surf buddies laugh it out (as their own needs for entertainment are met). To continue the metaphor, catching the wave is done through empathy and honesty, which are the basic tools which I am offering through coaching.

So, as we listen empathetically for what's alive in ourselves and in others, and express our honesty in ways that are respectful of others and true to ourselves, we can begin to experience the freedom that comes from letting go of our strategies. Strategies, which are "the means used to" meet needs are often confused with the needs themselves (the ends). This distinction is extremely important, and is referenced in the saying "the means do not justify the ends".

I have found that it is helpful to celebrate the beauty of our needs and the needs of others. Since we are usually not taught to value our needs, we may experience some resistance to valuing them.

As we open ourselves to this level of shared awareness and responsibility, we begin to feel compassion, opening the door to creatively explore common strategies which are more likely to meet our needs with more enjoyment and less cost.