About

Blog about my experiences as I use a language of the heart. "Compassionate Connecting" describes my intention to facilitate communication and contribute to deepening relationships between people, within groups and organizations through the practice of Nonviolent Communication (NVC) james.prieto@compassionateconnecting.com

What is Nonviolent Communication (NVC)?
NVC invites language awareness based on work by Marshall Rosenberg that is sometimes called compassionate communication. Its purpose is to strengthen our ability to inspire compassion from others and to respond compassionately to others and to ourselves. NVC guides us to reframe how we express ourselves and hear others by focusing on what we are observing, feeling, needing and requesting.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Manhattan Spaces

I recently spent three weeks on a work project near Manhattan New York. My work surrounded me with computers, cables and boxes. When things reached a point when I needed a break, I'd go for a short walk to a place with a window facing outside, and I'd seek out a tree that was clearly visible from the hallway. As I gazed upon it, I felt a quiet joy as I looked to this tree, as it reminded me of life outside of the cage.

By the time the weekend rolled around, I really needed to get out of my room, so I went to the various park spaces in Manhattan. I did a lot of walking from place to place over three weekends, only taking the subway twice after my feet told me they'd had enough -- an I listened.

I was struck by the beauty hidden in the midst of a large city, as if city planners knew what people needed to live surrounded by sky scrapers, traffic jams, and lots of other people. The parks are spread throughout the city, and teemed with life of all kinds. Most notably, trees and humans. I had fun watching and enjoying both. I noticed that a large majority of people showed regard to each other through giving each person their space to be (of course there were a few exceptions of people with microphones and audio amplifiers who seemed to want to contribute some information they considered important to anyone within audio range -- I felt annoyed as I was wanting peace, regard and freedom to have my own experience, thoughts and feelings).

I observed many people just sitting, alone and in silence, staring forward with eye-lids frozen just a few feet away from another person doing the same - and I saw it over and over again. These people could have been resting, praying, meditating, thinking, composing, planning, observing, or just plain old being; there's no way to know unless I asked them, but I chose to show the same regard that each person seemed to be offering the other, and let them be. The silence of these people stimulated my own curiosity, which I am expressing here. It felt as though the silence made a sound which I thought I heard. There were others reading, and others sunbathing. I was surprised to find an outdoor library in the park under the shade of a bunch of trees -- way cool!

The trees seem to be the center-pieces for creating livable space within the parks, providing shade, oxygen and something ethereal -- like they know they are there for a reason, standing tall, strong at the base and yet loosely flowing on top; their green color inspiring life, protection and comfort. I imagined that they were witnessing everything around them and hoping that we choose connection instead of separation, compassion instead of violence, empathy before honesty...

I also observed small groups of people sitting together talking, playing chess, playing in a water fountain, singing in groups, dancing individually around others that were standing still. I enjoyed a sense of community, as there were people of all ethnic groups sharing space in the parks and showing regard for each other. I felt hopeful that WE could similarly get along in other parts of the country and in other parts of the world.

Overall, I enjoyed my hikes through Manhattan, but three weeks away from home is a long time. I am glad to be back in my own space with a view of trees, hills and sky, with my potted plants, my own bed and pillows. I am slowly reconnecting with people I haven't seen in a while. Its nice to be home; there's no place like it!

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