Conflict in Union Square - Manhattan New York

I spent the day walking through Manhattan. On my way to get in line for "rush tickets" for a performance named "Fuerza Bruta" (translated "brute force" from Spanish) on Broadway near Union Square, in ran into what appeared to be a conflict between two men. I heard them speaking to each other in voices louder than I am comfortable with, observing their mouths to be open wider than I am used to seeing, with each person closer to each other than I would be comfortable with in a conversation with a stranger, and I observed each one use their hands to point at the other person (observation*). I took several pictures to share what I saw in this blog. As their "loud" conversation progressed (evaluation*), I saw more and more people gather around them to watch. This "argument" went on for several minutes, and did not seem to get resolved (evaluation*). I was guessing that both people were feeling angry as they were wanting understanding from the other person (empathy). After a while, I observed the younger man walk away from the older man, and I took the opportunity to talk with each side of the debate.

* In NVC its important to differentiate observation from evaluation.

Here's what I heard from a companion of the man with the grey hair. Their group had been meeting in the square for several years to express their concern for how the money from their country -- the US -- was being used to "oppress" the Palestinian people. I heard them tell me that they were also concerned for the well-being of the Palestinians, as they are wanting freedom, education, and a better life for them. One of them told me that they were afraid to express themselves even in this country, as it seemed "politically incorrect" to question the US policy towards Israel and the Palestinians -- they were wanting to be heard, and they were wanting safety as they expressed themselves.

After I thought I understood this side of the issue, I approached the younger man in blue as he was sitting on a fence about 20 feet away from the other group. I said something like "excuse me; I heard you talking loudly to the other man over there." "Would you be willing to tell me what you were trying to tell him?" He and his friend seemed excited to tell me their side, and proceeded to tell me that they had lived in Israel, and that they were concerned for the safety and survival of their country. They were concerned that the Palestinians were not speaking with one voice, and they were wanting more integrity, consistency -- and they were also wanting peace in their country. I specifically asked them if they cared about the well-being of the Palestinians, and they said "yes" -- that both of them had friends that were Arab, and one of them was dating a woman who was Muslim.

I asked these men if they wanted to know why I was talking to them, and proceeded to tell them about nonviolent communication (NVC), how I was wanting to contribute to Peace, and how they might be able to have more effective dialogs in the future -- getting their point across, while maintaining a connection with the other person. The man in blue said he would check out my website (please comment if you read this). I wish I would have taken a picture of my new Israeli friends, but at least we were able to end the conversation with a feeling of brotherhood and a hope for peace.

By the time I had finished talking to the second group, the first group had decided to pack up and leave. I approached my earlier contact from the first group, and they told me that they were tired and wanted to go home. I hadn't really planned this, but I was willing to mediate the conflict.

I AM OVERSIMPLIFYING WHAT I HEARD. The truth is that I heard a lot of criticism and judgment from both sides, and the first group was very vocal about some strategies that they felt were important to their cause. They had many pictures to make their point.

I chose to express what I heard through my "NVC giraffe ears" (hearing feelings and needs) here to make a point. Yes, this is an oversimplification of the issues, but I believe each side's feelings and needs to be the start of an important dialog. That conversations are more likely to succeed when the truth of feelings and needs of each side are expressed. It is through this truth that freedom and abundance can be experienced.

I was unable to get a ticket for the "Fuerza Bruta" performance in the theater, but I am now appreciating the irony with what I was expecting to see and what I experienced outside. I am grateful to have witnessed the conflict and to have contributed to some understanding on both sides, however small. I pray that both sides of this "Union Square" conflict be open to hearing the other side, and to express themselves with a regard for the feelings and needs of the other person and of themselves.

I also pray that the parties of the greater conflict to eventually be able to reach mutually satisfying strategies in which the needs of all sides are met, and that peace will become a reality in the Middle East. On that note, I must end with another picture from my day in Manhattan, which I hope speaks for itself.