The Wave Metaphor

I like to use waves as a symbol for needs, and the "gift energy of love" behind them from our creator. They are also a gift because they are the part of us that gives us the experience of being alive. The challenge then becomes how to catch the wave so that we can all surf -- to connect. This metaphor is powerful because surfing requires presence and balancing on the board. If I am feeling sad while focused on the past, or located too far back on the board, I will not catch the wave. If I am feeling anxious about the future, and too far forward on the board, I'll pearl -- which means to have the nose sink in the water and "wipe out" (falling off the board) -- possibly leading to feelings of shame and embarrassment as your surf buddies laugh it out (as their own needs for entertainment are met). To continue the metaphor, catching the wave is done through empathy and honesty, which are the basic tools which I am offering through coaching.

So, as we listen empathetically for what's alive in ourselves and in others, and express our honesty in ways that are respectful of others and true to ourselves, we can begin to experience the freedom that comes from letting go of our strategies. Strategies, which are "the means used to" meet needs are often confused with the needs themselves (the ends). This distinction is extremely important, and is referenced in the saying "the means do not justify the ends".

I have found that it is helpful to celebrate the beauty of our needs and the needs of others. Since we are usually not taught to value our needs, we may experience some resistance to valuing them.

As we open ourselves to this level of shared awareness and responsibility, we begin to feel compassion, opening the door to creatively explore common strategies which are more likely to meet our needs with more enjoyment and less cost.