About

Blog about my experiences as I use a language of the heart. "Compassionate Connecting" describes my intention to facilitate communication and contribute to deepening relationships between people, within groups and organizations through the practice of Nonviolent Communication (NVC) james.prieto@compassionateconnecting.com

What is Nonviolent Communication (NVC)?
NVC invites language awareness based on work by Marshall Rosenberg that is sometimes called compassionate communication. Its purpose is to strengthen our ability to inspire compassion from others and to respond compassionately to others and to ourselves. NVC guides us to reframe how we express ourselves and hear others by focusing on what we are observing, feeling, needing and requesting.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

My Inspiration and Fear

I am often inspired by things that I read. For example, I am reading Marshall's book in Spanish, and was reminded of one of Rumi's sayings:

* "Más allá de las ideas de actuar bien y actuar mal, se extiende un campo. Allí nos encontraremos".

("Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I'll meet you there.")

I would enjoy hearing of other people's inspirational sayings and quotes from whatever traditions, philosophies and cultures they arise. Would you be willing to share them here with a "comment"?

I am often inspired by things I read in texts that I grew up with; even though the words had not come alive for me until more recently.

I am feeling sad and perhaps a little frustrated that there is so much judgment in so many areas of my culture, in my own mind (i.e. 'Jackals'), within various communities I belong to, as I am wanting more acceptance of differing opinions and a more authentic dialog of the issues in a heart connecting way. Actually, what I would like is more of a focus on similarities -- to build bridges -- than in differences -- which tend to build walls and isolate. Yes, there are differences between people and groups, and some of them are important. But wouldn't it be more fun if we were able to connect on our similarities first?

I guess that part of my frustration is with wanting to integrate a couple of areas of my life and the communities of people in them, and being afraid of judgment in both of them. I desire authenticity and wholeness in my life, but I am feeling some fear and anxiety at living them and expressing myself fully. I suppose that is part of the purpose of this blog; to help me in the process of integration.

Lately, I've been finding inspiration in chapters 5, 6, and 7 of the 'good news' according to the book of Matthew, and seeing ways in which I can practice these principles in my life through Nonviolent Communication (NVC). Here are a few of which I would like to share here:

* Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted
* Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy
* Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God
* Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God
* If you remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift at the altar and be reconciled with your brother. Settle matters quickly with your adversary.
* Simply let your 'Yes' be 'Yes', and your 'No', 'No'
* Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you
* Do not judge
* Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?
* First take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye
* Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you
* For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened
* Do to others what you would have them do to you
* Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock.

So, I am finding NVC to be a discipline that helps me to live consistently with my beliefs, in a way that is respectful of others and gives me a way to practice being more loving and authentic.

Has any of this stirred anything in you?

4 comments:

willowing said...

Hey James. Inspiring post. :-) One of the quotes that really stuck with me after the IIT was: 'that which you resist, persists, that which you accept, transforms' - it is so meaningful to me. it's all about acceptance. i talk about it in my art video here: http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=NrK3s-v3qYk

hugs.

William said...

life is not about you, you are about life
-Richard Rohr

I'm often inspired by Rohr's work... this is one of the five promises of male initiation.

Enjoying your blog,
William

lynn said...

HI James,
I was moved by your struggle between accepting the Jackal's wisdom and wanting to be a Giraffe. This struggle is looming large in my life right now. And I imagine it points to many unmet needs in me.

"Turning to face my fear,
I meet the warrior who lives within me;
Opening to my loss,
gain the embrace of the Universe;
Surrendering into emptiness,
find fullness without end.
Each condition I flee from pursues me,
Each condition I welcome transform me"

_Jennifer Welwood

The fleeing comes easily; welcoming is my edge.
I appreciate your encouragement...and your sharing your life with us, Lynn

Joyce said...

So, how do we 'Love our enemies'?
By daring to build an empathy bridge with them. I felt inspired and motivated when reading Matthew's passage "If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus? Anybody can do that. If you simply say hello to those who greet you, do you expect a medal? Any run-of-the-mill sinner does that.

48"In a word, what I'm saying is, Grow up. You're kingdom subjects. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you."

Thanks, James, for giving me the opportunity through this article to connect and integrate what for me is the scary part of the process of building bridges ~meeting the enemy-image~ , with what I value as being worthwhile ~ contributing to life generously and graciously!
Be the bridge,
Joyce