About Compassionate Connecting

"Compassionate Connecting" describes our intention to facilitate communication and contribute to deepening relationships between people, within groups and organizations through the practice of Nonviolent Communication (NVC) GiraffeSurfer@gmail.com

What is Nonviolent Communication (NVC)?
NVC is a form of language based on work by Marshall Rosenberg that is sometimes called compassionate communication. Its purpose is to strengthen our ability to inspire compassion from others and to respond compassionately to others and to ourselves. NVC guides us to reframe how we express ourselves and hear others by focusing on what we are observing, feeling, needing and requesting.



Surfing Metaphor

I like to use waves as a symbol for needs, and "Compassionate Connecting" is the surfboard. The challenge then becomes how to catch the wave so that we can all surf -- to connect and stay connected to others even as we identify our conflicting strategies. Once we each truly hear each others needs, finding mutually satisfying strategies is much more likely than before.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Hiking Adventure in Mexico


I went to an orphanage in Mexico East of Ensenada this weekend. On the way there, I was totally mesmerized by the beauty of the coastline. My excitement must have shown because Carlos, our driver offered to stop the van so that I could snap a few pictures -- which you can see in the link to this post.


The highlight of this trip was taking the older boys on a hike along a creek to a natural swimming pool that formed because of the recent rains in the area. The weather was really phenomenal, lots of sun, a cool breeze, almost no clouds, and the air seemed more clear than usual.

Our plan was to get all the boys together after lunch and go. Only problem was that lunch ran a couple of hours late this month, so a few people were not able to go that wanted to. So, shortly after 3 PM, twelve of us set out to go on the hike; a few boys joined us later. It's really not like what you'd think of a hike in the US; there were few actual trails to walk on, no trail-head, no maps, and most of our initial hike was on the rocky banks of a creek.

Many of the boys quickly tired of the rocky embankment, and went in for the water. In fact, most of the playing around started almost immediately that we got near the water, as many couldn't stand being near it and not be in it. I realized at this point that the adventure and fun had started, and decided to get my camera out of my backpack even as I tried to keep up with the boys pace. I chose not to get wet, as I had some things that I wanted to keep dry, like my boots, socks, pants, shirt, backpack and my camera. Funny that I was thinking that I didn't have my "water gear". The boys didn't seem to care what they were wearing, and went for the water.

I was a little saddened by some of the trash that I saw along the way, as it seemed to be in stark contrast with the inherent beauty of the area, and the joy-filled playful spirits of the children on the hike.

Much of the play on the way was about splashing each other, and tackling some of their friends into the creek. They really seemed to be having fun -- even after some were "helped" under water, they'd all come out with huge smiles on their faces. The water was very cold, but luckily, the sun was out.

Every now and then, we'd get to a barbed wire fence in which the boys would make a comment about it being "propriedad privada" or private property, and we'd decide as a group to either go through it or go around the fence, if it was possible. In one case, we ran out of options and had to cross the knee deep creek to get to our "trail."

After crossing the creek because it was getting too steep on our side, we made it to an area which had some really large boulders, and the creek widened and deepened enough for for a natural pool to form. We had arrived to our first destination. A few of us, myself included, couldn't help our attraction to the boulders, so we climbed on top of them (as a rock climber, I estimated the penalty factor to be "moderate" -- i.e. we could do it with reasonable safety and max enjoyment -- a calculated risk that I take with my son Alex all the time). The rest went for the water in a big way. The original plan was to keep the boys dry -- right! That plan was out the first five minutes of the hike. But, I didn't expect them to go swimming, nor what came next.

One of the boulders was large enough to climb, and was close enough to the deep end of the pool. I must admit that my anxiety level rose high, but the orphanage leaders (paid staff) seemed comfortable and confident of the situation. They made sure that the boys that didn't know how to swim stayed in the shallow area, and that the pool was deep enough for jumping. So, after catching my breath and seeing the beauty of the moment, I started snapping some action shots.
And we took a few group photos before leaving the area. Sadly, our late start limited the amount of time we could spend out there, as the sun was going to start dropping soon. I made a point to rally the troops to get back to camp by 5 PM (I had a head lamp and spare flashlight in case they were needed). Of course, we weren't about to take the same way home. We had to visit the mines on the way back...

We had to go through several barbed wire fences. I was happy to know that the owner of the land had a son Juan that was a friend of a few of the boys. He showed up with his dog, posed for a picture, and told us that we could come back any time.

I noticed that several of the boys had picked up sticks along the way. Once we crossed into an open field with some mud and some dried out cow cakes, the boys used their sticks to fling dung back and forth at each other. It was fun to watch, but glad I wasn't the target.


We all made it back to the orphanage, healthy, recharged, and "stoked". I'm feeling gratefully joyous at having contributed to organizing this event. I am finding meaning through serving at the orphanage, and having fun at the same time. I am hoping to contribute NVC to them somehow in the future, but I guess, I already am.

I'd enjoy hearing if anything in here moved you in any way.

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